As you plan your will, you may need to plan the transfer of large amounts of wealth. There are several options to consider, like gifts, trusts or inheritances. If you have a complex estate, you may need an advice team that includes a financial advisor, tax specialist and lawyer.

Here’s how to start a conversation around the kind of advice you may need or have already received.

If you are a parent with adult children:

• To build your advice team, ask your family members if they have used any advisors and how they chose them. You may not want to use the same professionals, but it can help you figure out where to start your search. Be sure to include your spouse or legal partner in the discussion if you have one.

• If you already have an advice team, you may want to share their contact information with your child(ren). Or, let them know where to find this information when it’s time to settle your estate.

• If possible, set up a meeting for your advisor(s) to share your plans to transfer your wealth. This includes your spouse/legal partner if you have one and your child(ren). If you can, pick a time when everyone’s relaxed. Avoid a time when anyone is going through a stressful life event.

• If you haven’t already started, also think about how to educate your child(ren) to inherit and take over your wealth. This can include talking about financial planning, budgeting, tax planning and more.

If you are an adult child:

• It may not be easy to get your parent(s) to open up about their financial plans or about getting advice. Talking about your own situation can help. If you’ve already have sought advice, share with your parents why and how you found an advisor/tax specialist/lawyer you trust.

• Another way to start a conversation about wealth transfer is to share a recent news story about someone who did not get proper advice or whose estate is in dispute. You can then ask your parents if they have sought professional advice and why it matters.

• If your parent(s) have an advisor, you can suggest meeting together to talk about their estate plans. Some parents will be more open to this than others.

Ready to learn more? Read: The Asset Transfer Strategy

You can transfer assets to your spouse or legal partner tax free. But for other inheritors, the tax rules vary for different assets – including retirement savings plans, pensions, non-registered accounts and property. It can take careful planning to minimize the taxes due on your estate. You may want to involve your adult child(ren). Here’s how to start the conversation.

If you are a parent with adult children:

• Before you talk to your child(ren), consult a tax specialist for advice on planning for the taxes on your estate. You can then ask this professional to lead a conversation with your child(ren) on this subject.

• If your plans will affect your child(ren), be sure to consult them on their wishes. For example, the transfer of a family cottage to your child(ren) may trigger a capital gains tax that must be paid before the children (or other heirs) can enjoy the property. Be sure to find out how your child(ren) feel about inheriting the cottage. Have a plan to pay the tax and share this plan with your child(ren).

• For your registered or non-registered investment and savings accounts, check that you have named a beneficiary. The person you name will receive the asset directly; it doesn’t go into your estate first, where it could trigger probate fees. Make sure you understand the tax consequences in each case. You may want to let each beneficiary know your plans.

• Are you considering leaving money to a charity? This can help reduce the taxes due on your estate. Be sure to explain your approach to your child(ren), so they will understand your intentions.

• Are you considering setting up a trust for either your child(ren) or grandchild(ren)? What type of trust will help you minimize taxes? You may want to discuss the details with the recipient so they will understand your thinking. There can be many emotions involved when it comes to trusts, so avoid surprises. If you’re not sure where to start, your advice team can coach you through the process.

• Do you have a business to pass on to your spouse/legal partner or child(ren)? Planning can help you reduce the taxes. Once you have a plan, ask your advice team to meet with your family member(s) to discuss the details.

If you are an adult child:

• Recognize that not all parents want to take the steps available to them to reduce the taxes on their estate. Also, not all parents want to increase their own taxes to save taxes on your inheritance.

• If you’re looking for a way to open a conversation about taxes on the estate of your parent(s), start by sharing your own plans. For example, you may mention something you’ve learned about naming beneficiaries on your investment accounts and how it affects the taxes due.

• If you are concerned your parent(s) has/have not planned for taxes on their estate, you might say something like “I’ve heard many estates pay too many taxes and probate costs; I just want to make sure you aren’t one of them. Can I ask you some questions about your plans?”

• If your parent(s) has/have a plan to reduce taxes on their estate, you could ask if they would be comfortable holding a meeting with you and their advice team to review the parts of the plan that would affect you most.

Ready to learn more? Read: The Asset Transfer Strategy

A living inheritance is where you give money or other assets to your child(ren) or grandchild(ren) in your lifetime, instead of passing your wealth on solely through a will. There can be some advantages, like getting to see your family members enjoy the benefits. They may appreciate the help earlier in life when they may have greater financial need. There may even be savings on taxes and fees. Here’s how to start a conversation about these decisions.

If you are a parent with adult children:

• Get expert legal and tax advice before you talk to your child(ren). You need to balance passing on your wealth with making sure you have enough money for your retirement. Your retirement years could be one of the longest phases of your life.

• If you decide it’s a good idea to give an early inheritance, talk it over with your child(ren) or grand(children) before you take any final steps. Find out what they think and whether it’s right for them.

• Remember that gifts can be non-monetary as well. If you gift family heirlooms, jewelry, mementos or artwork early, you’ll know your wishes have been fulfilled. Alternatively, some people gift artwork to galleries or museums for everyone to enjoy.

If you are an adult child:

• It can be awkward talking with your parent(s) about the timing of an inheritance. If you are in financial need, you could ask if they would consider a loan or advance to help you out. Recognize that an inheritance – including an early one -- is not a legal right.

• Be sensitive to your parent’s(s’) feelings. If you have siblings, remember that your parent(s) must consider what’s fair to them as well. Step back from the conversation if it is uncomfortable.

Ready to learn more? Read: The Asset Transfer Strategy

Some assets, like a family cottage, may trigger taxes when you transfer them to your child(ren). Other assets, like cash, your principal residence or life insurance, could be passed along tax-free. If your goal is to divide your wealth equally among your children, be sure to factor in the taxes due on each asset.

Here’s how to start a conversation about taxes and how they’ll affect your child(ren)’s inheritance(s).

If you are a parent with adult children:

• First, talk to your advice team – including a tax specialist – to understand how taxes will affect the assets you plan to leave to your child(ren). Be sure to ask about options to reduce the taxes and fees due on your estate – and whether it means higher taxes for you.

• If you are planning to take steps to balance the tax burden among your children, consider letting them know your intentions. It could be something you share with each child separately, or you could hold a family meeting – whichever is most comfortable for you.

• If you are thinking about setting up a joint account with an adult child, make sure you understand the benefits and risks of these accounts. You also need to understand who will pay taxes on interest received.

• If you plan to use a trust to pass on an inheritance, make sure your child(ren) knows/know what a trust is, how it works and/or why it is used. Again, you can ask your advice team to meet with the family to discuss.

If you are an adult child:

• You can wait for the topic to come up. Or, find a way to ease into the conversation. You could mention an article you read or bring up the fact that you recently chatted with your financial advisor about estate planning. Or, you can use a life event — a job loss, a milestone birthday or someone’s divorce – to start the conversation.

• If your parent(s) share details of their estate with you, listen carefully and ask questions about what taxes may apply.

• To get more clarification, ask your parents if they could set up a time where you could meet and discuss with their advice team.

Ready to learn more? Read: The Asset Transfer Strategy

There is no gift tax in Canada. Personal items like cash, jewelry, artwork and family heirlooms can all be passed on as gifts tax-free. Here’s how to start the conversation about gifting assets to reduce the taxes due.

If you are a parent with adult children:

• If you’d like to offer a large cash gift to your adult child(ren) before you pass on, get advice first from your financial planner or tax specialist. Then talk to your child(ren) about what gift(s) you want to give and why. Find out how they feel about the gift or if they have other wishes.

• If you want to gift personal items, such as jewelry, artwork or family heirlooms, remember that your child(ren) may or may not have emotional ties to these items. If you have more than one child, one may feel hurt if you offer an item to a sibling. Sometimes the fairest way to proceed is to have your children draw lots and take turns picking items. You could also change the order of the draw each time.

• You can also ask your children to put coloured stickers on any personal items they might like to have one day. If there’s more than one sticker on any item, you can have them draw lots.

• You can also consider leaving personal items to your child(ren) in your will. You can discuss your thoughts with your child(ren) and then decide how you want to proceed. Consider having more valuable items appraised to make it easier to divide them more equally among your children.

• Make sure everyone in the family knows who gets what, so there are no misunderstandings. If you plan to give something as a gift, put it in writing.

If you are an adult child:

• In general, it’s best to wait for your parents to bring up the conversation about gifts.

• If you're really close to your parent(s), you may say something like, "If nobody else wants it, or you really don't know what you want to do with the family piano, then I'd love to have it."

• If your parent(s) want to gift something to you that you don’t really want, think carefully before you say, ‘no thanks.’ Is it worth hurting their feelings over? If it won’t upset others, you could gift it later to someone who will appreciate it more. Or, you could exchange gifts with a sibling.

• If your parents want to gift property to you, keep in mind that capital gains tax may apply unless it becomes your principal residence.

Ready to learn more? Read: The Asset Transfer Strategy

If you transfer certain assets to your child(ren) before your death, you can trigger the taxes that would otherwise be paid by your estate. Keep in mind two things:

1. The asset must be transferred at a reasonable value.

2. You must pay taxes due on any accrued gains at the time of the transfer – even if you gift the asset to your child(ren).

The question is, even if they want the asset, can they afford it? Who pays the tax bill? Here’s how to start the conversation.

If you are a parent with adult children:

• Ask your child(ren) if they are interested in taking on a family property, business or other asset at this time. Just because you love the cottage doesn’t mean your kids do. Will they enjoy spending time there? Can they afford the ongoing upkeep and property taxes?

• If you have an asset or property you’d like to share with more than one child, ask each one how they feel about this arrangement. Are they confident expenses and upkeep will be shared? What will happen if someone wants to sell their interest in the asset? Can the other child(ren) afford to buy them out?

• If your child(ren) is/are interested in taking ownership of an asset, set up a meeting with your advice team so you can get professional advice. There may be other options you can explore, like joint ownership or a trust.

If you are an adult child:

• Many families put off talking about what will happen to the family cottage or business. But it’s better to set up a family meeting and put everything on the table as early as possible.

• If your parents want to transfer property to you, keep in mind that if you want to sell it later, capital gains tax may apply unless it becomes your principal residence.

• You may want to seek financial advice about what will be involved if you are going to receive a particular asset from your parent(s). The advisor can help you uncover questions you need to ask and give you suggestions on how to start the conversation.

• Be honest with your parent(s) about your financial situation and whether you can take on an asset they are offering to you. Sometimes a better route is to sell the asset and have each child share in the cash raised.

Ready to learn more? Read: The Asset Transfer Strategy

Many Canadians will turn to investments that generate income when they retire. Others will want to focus on preserving their capital and avoiding losses. Still others will worry about outliving their savings and want to continue to invest for growth.

Given that your retirement savings may need to last 20-30 years or more, you may need to balance one or more of these approaches. Here’s how to start a conversation about finding the best investments for you.

If you are parents of adult children:

• Sharing your thinking about investing with your child(ren) can be a great way to help them learn more about investing. You can start by discussing your financial goals and theirs. Then talk about which investments might work better and why.

• It can be reassuring to your child(ren) to know you’ve had professional advice in choosing retirement investments. If you have a financial advisor, your child(ren) might like to meet with them to learn more about your plans for retirement or investing in general.

If you are an adult child:

• As they prepare to retire, get to know your parent(s) as investors. You can ask them: “Do market swings worry you? Are you worried about how long your savings will last? Have you thought about inflation? Will you invest in stocks knowing there is a higher risk of losses? Or are you trying to reduce risk and avoid losses?”

• It’s natural to wonder how your parent(s) is/are preparing their investment portfolio for retirement. You can ask them: “Are you thinking differently now about the way you invest? Are you looking to reduce the risk of losses? Create monthly income? Or is growth still a priority?”

• If your parent(s) are willing to share information on their investment portfolio with you, ask them about changes they’ve made to align their plan to their goals and their investor profile. What do they think are the best investments for them in retirement and why?

Ready to learn more? Read Approach Retirement With Confidence

Some Canadians close to retirement want to reduce the risk of losses when they invest. They may transfer money to fixed-income investments or even cash. Keep in mind there's another kind of risk associated with fixed-income investments: inflation risk. If the interest rate on your bond, GIC or high interest savings account is lower than the rate of inflation, you will be losing purchasing power every year.

Here’s how to start a conversation about whether low-risk investments are right for you.

If you are parents of adult children:

• Ask your child(ren) if they are currently invested in cash or low-risk investments and why. Would the same approach work for you? How are your financial goals different? Discuss the difference between investing for the long term and short term.

• Have you consulted with a financial advisor about low-risk investments for your retirement? Have they run scenarios with you so you understand what will happen to your portfolio over time? Share what you’ve learned with your child(ren). They will want to know that you’ve invested in a way that will help you finance your retirement over the long term.

• If you filled out a risk assessment questionnaire with your adviser, you could also share it with your child(ren) and discuss.

If you are an adult child:

• If your parent(s) has/have invested a lot of their savings in low-risk investments, you may want to ask them: “How will this affect your income when you retire? Have you considered the impact of inflation? Are you worried about outliving your retirement savings?”

• Ask your parents if they have put aside enough cash to cover at least two years of expenses. This is a way to help ensure they have the money they need for income in the short term. They could still invest part of their portfolio in stocks with a higher potential for growth.

• Ask your parent(s) if they have they received professional advice on whether low-risk investments are suitable for them. Are they confident they will be able to fund the kind of retirement they want over the decades ahead?

Ready to learn more? Read Approach Retirement With Confidence

In non-registered investment accounts, taxes are lower on Canadian dividends, capital gains and return of capital than on interest income. This means you can defer taxes if you delay cashing in investments that earn interest. Note that this advantage does not apply to most registered accounts, including RRSPs or RRIFs. Withdrawals from these registered accounts are taxed as income at your marginal tax rate.

It’s important to understand the taxes on your investment earnings. With planning, you can keep more of what you earn as an investor. Here’s how to start a conversation about tax strategies.

If you are parents of adult children:

• Have you done any tax planning for your investments – especially as you plan withdrawals in retirement? Share what you know with your child(ren). Remind them the burden of taxes on these assets may shift to them one day as they inherit your wealth. Make sure they are aware of the different taxes on different sources of investment earnings: interest, dividends and capital gains.

• Share any tax planning strategies you are using to reduce or defer taxes on your investments. If you have a financial advisor, you may ask them to talk to your child(ren) about how to plan for taxes on investments.

If you are an adult child:

• Let your parent(s) know you’re interested in learning about ways to reduce taxes when you invest. Ask them what they do and if they’ve had any professional advice.

• If your parent(s) have not considered tax planning, offer to help them find the names of some tax experts to consult. If you have someone you like and trust, offer to introduce them.

Ready to learn more? Read Approach Retirement With Confidence

Deciding the best way to pass on investments to your adult child(ren) can be complex. It’s always a good idea to consult a qualified professional, especially if you have a mix of assets in your estate. You can then share your tax planning information on a “need-to-know” basis with your adult child(ren). Here’s how to start the conversation.

If you are parents of adult children:

• Let your adult child(ren) know if you are planning to transfer assets to them and how the taxes will work.

• If you are leaving the proceeds of your RRSP or RRIF to your adult child(ren): you can simply name them as your beneficiary on the account. Let them know the amount is fully taxable as income on your final tax return and discuss how you’ve planned for your estate to cover those taxes. For example, the taxes due could be paid from the funds in your RRSP or RRIF. Note: if there is not enough cash in your estate to pay the tax, your child(ren) may be personally liable for the tax due.

• If you are leaving the proceeds of a TFSA to your adult child(ren): you can again name them as your beneficiary on the account. In many cases, no taxes will apply. The account will simply transfer to them from your estate.

• If you have other non-registered assets: you may be able to transfer them as gifts to your adult child(ren) or grandchild(ren). In some cases, you may be able to transfer the gift to a TFSA or RESP to reduce the taxes on investment earnings.

• If you want to transfer non-registered investment income and capital gains to lower income family members: seek financial advice about discretionary family trusts. This strategy requires professional advice but can reduce yearly taxes as well as taxes due at your death. After you consult a tax expert, you could arrange a family meeting for them to share information with your adult child(ren).

If you are an adult child:

• Ask your parent(s) if they have considered the taxes due on their estate. To open the conversation, you could talk about a story in the news related to someone who didn’t get tax advice on their estate and what happened.

• Research and discuss how your parent(s) might cover the taxes due on their estate. For example, can they afford a life insurance policy to pay the taxes? If not, could you (and your siblings, if you have them) pay for the policy to protect your inheritance?

• You may also want to ask if your parent(s) have received professional tax advice. If they are comfortable with sharing details of their plan, you could suggest everyone meet with their tax specialist.

Choosing your asset mix is one of the most important decisions you will make as an investor. It sets the balance of potential risk and growth in your investment portfolio. In retirement, a conservative approach can help you preserve wealth and avoid losses. A more growth-oriented approach can increase your potential returns, but it will also increase the risk of losses.

How do you know which approach is right for you in retirement? Here’s how to have a conversation about choosing your asset allocation.

If you are parents of adult children:

• It used to be that retirees chose very conservative investments so they wouldn’t risk losing money they might need. But now that people are living 30+ years in retirement, it’s more common for people to continue to invest at least some of their savings for growth. Your child(ren) will want to know you’ve got the right balance of safety and growth for your savings in retirement. Also, do you have quick access to cash if you need it for expenses? If you’re comfortable, tell them what asset allocation you’ve chosen and why.

• If you’ve consulted a financial advisor to help you set your asset allocation, let your children know. You might want to share how you arrived at your plan and if you plan to revisit it regularly.

If you are an adult child:

• One way to start a conversation is to ask your parents how they’re feeling about their investments in general as they retire. You can ask them: “Are you worried about the markets? Are you worried about putting too much money at risk? Are you worried about inflation and the rising cost of living?” This can naturally lead to a discussion about the steps they’re taking to balance these concerns.

• If your parent(s) are comfortable talking about their investments in more detail, you may want to ask them how they’ve divided their portfolio across the different asset classes. Why did they choose this asset allocation? Did they get professional advice? What’s their plan if they don’t get the results they were hoping for?

Ready to learn more? Read Approach Retirement With Confidence

One of the common ways people assess their financial advisor is by comparing their investment returns with an appropriate yardstick, like a stock market index. Yet there are other measures to consider. How well are you doing on your most important financial goals? For example, are you getting the retirement income you need? Are you minimizing the taxes on your investments?

What about harder-to-measure things like effective communication? Here’s how to start a conversation about the services you’ve received from your financial advisor.

If you are parents of adult children:

• If your investments are professionally managed, you may want to let your adult child(ren) know if you’re satisfied with the services you receive. How do you evaluate your advisor? Are there areas where you are more satisfied? Less satisfied?

• If you have a concern, you might want to ask your adult child(ren) how they think you should bring it up with your financial advisor. Is the issue something that they think can be improved? Or is it time to get a new advisor?

If you are an adult child:

• Do you have any reason to be concerned about the quality of the service your parent(s) is/are receiving from their financial advisor? To find out more, ask them how satisfied they are with the service(s) they receive. Is there any issue that is affecting the performance of their portfolio? Would they recommend their advisor to others?

• If you uncover an issue, ask your parent(s) if they feel it is something they can work on with their advisor to improve? Get the specifics. For example, if they would like better communication from their advisor, what would they like to see change? Would they like more frequent communication? Or is the problem more about how clearly their advisor communicates?

Ready to learn more? Read more now about how to make the most of your financial advisor relationship.

Talking about the end of life is hard for many people. Yet it can be one of the most intimate, heartfelt conversations a family will ever have. Learning about your loved one’s wishes before there is a crisis can help ease the grieving process after they’re gone. Here’s how to start the conversation.

If you are parents of adult children:

• Take time to prepare for this conversation. Ask yourself: “What do I need to do to put my affairs in order? What concerns do I want to be sure to bring up with my family about my final days?”

• You may want to talk to your doctor, your friends, caregiver, or a religious representative before you talk to your child(ren).

• If you have more than one adult child, gather them all together if they live close enough. Also think about where and when you’d like to talk. Would it be easiest sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee? Or on a vacation together?

• Don’t try to cover it all in one conversation. Start with a few important things you want your family to know. Once you have the first talk, it will be easier to come back to it later and discuss more of your thoughts.

• Some of the things you’ll want to talk about include: a power of attorney for personal care, do not resuscitate orders, hospice and palliative care and funeral plans.

If you are an adult child:

• Keep in mind that your parent(s) may have lived through a time when death and dying was rarely discussed. One of the best ways to prepare for this conversation is to do your own end-of-life planning. You’ll learn about which steps are most difficult to complete. You’ll be able to draw on your own experience as you talk with your parents.

• Avoid surprises. Let your parent(s) know ahead of time that you’d like to talk. It can help to mention a friend or someone in the news who is losing a parent to cancer. You can say something like, “They’re really struggling because they don’t know their mother’s wishes. This made me think it would be a good idea for us to talk. Could we set up some time next weekend?”

• If you have siblings who live nearby, make sure you invite them to be part of the discussion. Leaving someone out can lead to anger and resentment. If your siblings can’t attend, tell them when you’ll call to share what you discussed with your parent(s).

• Make it clear the goal is to understand what your parent(s) would like their end of life to be like. You can also ask if they have set out their wishes in legal documents like powers of attorney and an advance directive.

• The conversation doesn’t have to be all about death and dying. Ask your parent(s) to share their favourite stories and memories, what they’re most proud of, what they regret and their best life advice.

Ready to learn more? Read: Make An Advance Care Plan.

Pre-planning and pre-paying your funeral or cremation can not only help make important decisions easier for your family at a difficult time. It can also help with the financial costs. Here’s how to start a conversation about your plans.

If you are parents of adult children:

• You can ease into the conversation by talking about a funeral you attended or that you watched in a movie. Or you can be more direct and simply tell your child(ren) you’d like to set up a time to talk about planning your funeral.

• You may want to visit a funeral home before you talk to your child(ren). They will likely offer pre-planning services. Or visit Funerals Canada online for information on pre-planning.

• Start with some of your basic wishes. Would you like a burial or cremation? Formal service or informal? A religious or non-religious funeral? Celebration of life? This may be more than enough to cover in one conversation.

• Other things to discuss include: Are there any special songs or hymns you’d like to include in the service? Any poems or reflections you’d like to have read? Any personal stories you’d like someone to tell? Put your wishes in writing and let your child(ren) know where they can find this document.

• If you have no strong feelings or preferences, ask your family if you can leave it to them to decide for you.

• If you’re going to pre-pay your funeral, let your child(ren) know. You can do this either by setting up a trust account or buying insurance. Either way, you’ll be signing a contract. Make sure this document clearly sets out everything you have arranged in advance – and make sure your family knows where to find a copy.

• Some families decide to arrange a burial site for multiple family members. For example, you could purchase a family plot in a cemetery or other shared site as a final resting place. This is something to discuss with your adult children so you can make sure their wishes are aligned with yours. While you may prefer burial, for example, they may prefer cremation.

If you are an adult child:

• Start with a few general questions to open the discussion and make it easier for your parent(s) to share their wishes. For example: “Have you ever thought about how you would like to be remembered?” “Have you ever thought about whether you would like a funeral or some other special service?”

• Tell your loved ones you want to talk about funeral arrangements out of love for them. You simply want to honour their wishes and find out what ceremonies or traditions they care about most.

• Ask your parent(s) if they’ve considered pre-planning and/or pre-paying for their funeral(s). Offer to do some research to gather information for them. Or, you could set up a meeting with one or more funeral homes for you and your parent(s) to discuss options. If you are interested in arranging a family plot in a cemetery or other shared site, make sure your parents know your wishes.

Ready to learn more? Read: The Importance Of Preplanning a Funeral or Cremation Service.

Many people wait until they are closer to end of life, or even in crisis to discuss end-of-life plans with their loved ones. But this can be very stressful for everyone. Here’s how to start a conversation about end of life before anyone has to make any urgent decisions.

If you are parents of adult children:

• There’s a lot to consider in planning for your end of life. To start, try describing in general terms how you see your final days. You could open with a sentence like, “What matters most to me is . . .”

• Some of the details you might want to talk about include:

  • What are your wishes for medical treatment?

  • Who will handle making care decisions if you are not able?

  • Do you have any values or beliefs that might affect the way you want to be cared for?

  • Where you would want to be cared for at the end of your life, if you have the choice? How important is it to you to die at home? Are you willing to move to a setting like hospital or hospice to receive the care your doctors believe you need?

  • Whom would you want around you in your final days and hours?

  • Are there things that you would find comforting, like music, poetry or religious readings?

  • Have you thought about organ donation?

• If you have put your wishes in writing, let your family know. Some Canadians have placed their final wishes in unofficial documents, often called living wills. Be aware that this kind of informal document does not replace a legally binding power of attorney for personal care or an advance directive about what decisions you want made.

If you are an adult child:

• It’s sometimes harder for adult child(ren) to talk about their parents’ end of life than the other way around. If you find it hard to ask direct questions, watch for small cues that can open a conversation. For example, if your parent says something like “You never know, I might not be here in 10 years,” ask them what their wishes would be if they were in their final days.

• It’s often easier to start a conversation about someone else: “My friend lost his mother last week and it was awful because the family didn’t know what medical care she would have wanted . . .”

• Try asking questions based on what you already know about your parent(s): “I know you don’t like hospitals so if you had the option would you rather be cared for in your own home?”

• It might also be easier asking your parent(s) about what they don’t want rather than what their wishes are.

• You don’t have to cover everything in one conversation. The first time you bring up the subject with your parent(s), it may be enough just to say, “I just want you to know I’ll be there for you.”

Ready to learn more? Read: Make an Advance Care Plan.

Your end-of-life plans should include appointing a power of attorney (POA) for personal care. This is someone you ask to make health-care decisions on your behalf if you can no longer do so. It is separate from a POA for property, who will make financial decisions on your behalf if you can no longer do so.

Your POA for personal care can be a friend or family member. If you do not have a POA for personal care, your family can make some care decisions, but they may not be able legally to make them all. Here’s how to start a conversation about your POA for personal care.

If you are parents of adult children:

• Whenever you are talking about your end-of-life plans, let your child(ren) know if you have a power of attorney for personal care. Many people ask their spouse/legal partner or child(ren). It should be someone you trust to make decisions about your care, housing, food, clothing, health and safety.

• It’s always a good idea to name a back-up power of attorney in case your first choice is not able to take part at the time.

• Be aware that if you ask only one of your children to be your power of attorney, it can lead to hurt feelings. Or, if they don’t get along, your other children may challenge every decision. This can be exhausting for the adult child who is simply trying to do the best they can for you. It can help if you explain to your child(ren) the reason for your choice. For example: Is your daughter a doctor? Is your son the calm one in a crisis?

• It can also be difficult if one child is taking care of their parent(s), but they ask another child to be their power of attorney for personal care. What will happen if both children don’t agree on a care decision?

If you are an adult child:

• If you would like to be the power of attorney for personal care for your parent(s), don’t wait until a crisis to talk about it. The time may never feel right, but it’s important to have the conversation early. Look for an opening when you might bring the topic up. For example, if your parent tells you about a friend or relative who’s been in the hospital, you could ask, “Have you thought about what your wishes would be in that situation?”

• If you’re having a talk with your parent(s) about end-of-life decisions, ask them what steps they’ve taken to put their plans in place. Have they appointed a power of attorney for personal care? Where do they keep a copy of the document?

• Ask your parent(s) if you can help by bringing them copies of the documents they need to fill out for their power of attorney. If they need more information, you can offer to find it and share it with them.

• Make sure you listen to your parent(s) to understand their wishes before you voice your opinions. Arguing with them will likely not help. You may need more than one conversation to talk it all out.

• Later on, you can let your parent(s) know if you think their choice might create tensions in the family. But remember this decision rests with your parent(s). You cannot force anyone to choose a power of attorney for personal care.

• Recognize that if you are named a power of attorney for care, it can sometimes be tricky to carry out a parent’s wishes. They may have a new spouse or life partner who is not related to you but who wants to have a say in care decisions. If you have any concerns, talk to your parent now about how they want you to handle them. Also make sure your parent has written an advance directive to make their wishes clear.

Ready to learn more? Read: The Role of Power of Attorney.

There are two main cases where you need a Power of Attorney (POA):

• You’re going out of the country for an extended period and need someone to do your banking, pay your taxes and manage your other affairs while you’re away.

• You need someone to make financial or health care decisions if you’re mentally or physically unable to do.

You may want to discuss getting a POA with your family before you talk to your lawyer. Here’s how to start a conversation about when you need a POA and why.

If you are parents of adult children:

• If you don’t have a POA and are wondering if it’s time to set one up, ask your child(ren) if they have one and why. Were there any particular scenarios they wanted to address with a POA? How confident are they that a POA will help make sure their wishes will be carried out and decisions made in their best interest?

• You can ask your child(ren) for help getting and filling out the required POA forms. Or talk to your lawyer about getting the necessary forms filled out.

• If you have a POA already, ask your child(ren) if they do too. If not, remind them that anyone at any age could be in a position where they need a POA. For example, they may want to leave the country and need someone to help pay bills. Or, they may be in a car accident or develop a serious illness that prevents them from managing their finances until they recover.

If you are an adult child:

• Talking about a POA may be very uncomfortable for your parent(s). They are used to making their own decisions and a POA represents handing over control, within set limits. It can be easier to talk to your parent(s) about POAs if you have one yourself. Let them know why you decided to put one in place and if you had any concerns in doing so.

• Reassure your parent(s) that putting a POA in place actually helps them keep control. The attorney they choose is obligated to act in their best interest.

• Also make sure your parent(s) understand that waiting to create a POA creates a risk. They cannot sign a POA if they become mentally incapacitated – which is when they will need it most. For example, what if they need to sell the family home after an illness incapacitates them mentally? This process would be much more difficult unless they have an attorney who could sign the documents on their behalf.

Ready to learn more? Read: Understanding the Different Types of Powers of Attorney.

The person you name in your POA is called your attorney, but they don’t have to be a lawyer or a family member. Any capable adult can take on the role. Here’s how to start the conversation about finding the right person.

If you are parents of adult children:

• If you are thinking about naming your child(ren) in your POA, think carefully about how well suited they are to the role. Have they shown that they know how to manage money and property? Do you think they will manage your money and property or make health care decision in the way that you want and in your best interest? Can you trust them?

• Also consider if your child(ren) has/have any health concerns or financial problems that may interfere with them serving as your attorney. Do they have the time to handle your money and property as well as their own? Do they live nearby and are they readily available if you need them? Can you rely on them?

• If you think your child(ren) can fulfill the responsibility of an attorney, you can ask them if they would agree to take on the role. Make sure they clearly understand what is expected of them. Remember that if you have more than one child, naming one as your attorney can lead to hurt feelings. It can also lead to quarrels over decisions unless they get along and can work well together.

• You could also name a back-up attorney who will step in if your first choice can’t fulfill the role when the need arises.

If you are an adult child:

• If you would like to be an attorney for your parent(s), it’s important to start the conversation early – long before something happens to them and they can no longer legally create a POA. For the first conversation, you might just want to share stories where an attorney helps family members make decisions that follow the wishes of their parent(s).

• In another conversation, find out how much they understand about the role of an attorney and why they need one. If you have a POA, tell your parent(s) why.

• Ask your parent(s) to tell you their wishes, both for managing their money and property and making health care decisions if they are not able to do so. This can be done over several conversations.

• If your parent(s) are reluctant to discuss a POA, you could suggest that they talk to a lawyer or someone else they trust. They may not be comfortable talking about their POA with their child(ren).

• If you can’t or don’t want to be an attorney for your parent(s), it’s best to be honest and direct. Let them know that if something happened to them tomorrow it would be very challenging for you to take on the duties of an attorney. Alternatively, discuss whether your parent(s) could name a back-up attorney who will step in if you find you can’t fulfill the role when the need arises.

Ready to learn more? Use this checklist to help you choose your Power of Attorney or read Choosing Who Will Act For You.

You can choose almost any capable adult you want to be your attorney. They do not have to be family member or a lawyer. There are a few things to keep in mind, however. Here’s how to start a conversation about your options.

If you are parents of adult children:

• If you want a non-family member to be your attorney, you could ask a close friend, a financial advisor or even a trust company. It’s really all about finding someone you trust. However, note that for your POA for personal care, you cannot name someone who is paid to provide you with healthcare or other support services.

• You may want to let your child(ren) know if you are choosing a non-family member for your POA and explain why. They may feel hurt if you don’t ask them to act as your attorney. Sometimes there’s just a very practical reason not to ask your child(ren). They may live too far away. Or they may already have a lot to take care of with young children or a busy career.

If you are an adult child:

• Remember that your parent(s) don’t have to talk about their POA with you if they don’t want to. They also don’t have to choose a family member to be their attorney. Try not to take it personally. It doesn’t mean they don’t trust you or love you, or that they like someone else better. They may be doing it simply to remove the added responsibility from your shoulders.

Ready to learn more? Read: Choosing Who Will Act For You.

Normally your POA takes effect if you are not able to make decisions for yourself. If you don’t have a POA, a family member or close friend can apply to the courts to be appointed as you guardian. But this can take time – and the person the courts name may not be someone you would choose yourself. This can just make a difficult situation even more difficult.

Here’s how to start a conversation about what will happen if you don’t have a POA.

If you are parents of adult children:

• You may be more comfortable first talking to your lawyer or family doctor about what will happen if you don’t have a POA. They can share some scenarios from their experience that will help you understand the consequences.

• If you don’t intend to have a formal POA, make sure you talk to your spouse, child(ren) and other close relatives about your wishes for personal care and for your property. They may have legal authority in a crisis to make decisions on your behalf or they may not. But at least they will know what you want.

If you are an adult child:

• Make your parent(s) aware of the main reason to get a POA: if they appoint an attorney, they can make sure it’s someone they trust and who knows their wishes. You can also remind them that it’s going to be hard enough on you when they are in poor health or unable to manage their own finances. If there is someone in place who knows their wishes and will carry out their instructions, it will make a difficult time a little easier.

• Make sure your parent(s) understand what might happen to them if they become unable to speak for themselves in hospital and do NOT have a POA. Hospitals must follow the law to figure out who will make decisions for you. There’s no guarantee this person will be the one you would prefer.

Ready to learn more? Read: What Every Canadian Should Know About Powers Of Attorney.

POA abuse occurs when someone is financially taken advantage of by the person they have named as their attorney to manage their finances. It’s one of the most common forms of elder abuse in Canada. Here’s how to start a conversation about avoiding this problem.

If you are parents of adult children:

• Learn about the steps you can take to prevent POA abuse. For example, your options may include:

  • Ask your child(ren) to help you set up automatic bill payments from your bank account.

  • Name two people to act jointly as your attorneys.

  • Name a trusted contact person if the option is available. This is someone you authorize your financial firm to contact if there is a concern about activity in your account and the firm has been unable to reach you.

  • Don’t set up any joint accounts with your attorney.

  • Keep all valuables, financial and legal documents that you don’t want your attorney to deal with in a safe place.

You can ask your child(ren) to help you with these steps to protect your property.

• Have regular conversations with your child(ren) about your financial affairs and any big decisions that are on your mind. The more they know, the more they can help you spot problems early.

If you are an adult child:

• Make your parent(s) aware of what POA abuse looks like. For example, an attorney may spend money without permission, to help themselves. Other forms of abuse may include forging a senior’s name on the POA or coercing them to make a POA against their wishes.

• Offer to check your parent’s/parents’ accounts from time to time for potential problems. Or suggest they talk to a financial advisor or other professional.

• Suggest your parents name a trusted contact person for their investment accounts. This is someone their financial firm can contact if there is a concern about any account activity and the firm can’t reach your parent(s).

• If you suspect POA abuse, gather as much information as you can and report it to your local senior abuse hotline. Or call police and ask to speak to someone trained in elder abuse.

Ready to learn more? Read: Protecting Seniors From Financial Abuse or What Every Canadian Should Know About Powers Of Attorney.

One of the best ways to learn more about the financial situation of children is to share examples from your own experience. When did you start saving for your first car? Your first home? Retirement? Have you ever gone through any tough times? How did you get back on track? Sharing these insights can encourage open conversation with your child(ren) about their financial challenges.

Remember you can only take a conversation as far as your child(ren) will allow. Here’s how to get started.

If you are parents of adult children:

Watch for natural openings to begin talking about money with your child(ren). For example, perhaps they will share a story about a friend or someone they know who is struggling financially.

Talking about saving is a good place to begin. Share with your child(ren) how you learned to save. How old were you when you started? What was your monthly income and how much of it were you able to save? What were your goals? As you talk about your experiences, you can ask your child(ren) about their own financial goals and how they’re doing in saving to reach them. How hard is it to save? What holds them back? Be curious about their experiences and challenges.

In another conversation, you could talk about spending. Share with your child(ren) if you have a budget and what choices you have to make sometimes to live within your means. If you have a lot of income or wealth now, can you talk about an earlier time when perhaps you didn’t? What have you learned over the years? Then you can ask your child(ren) if they’re able to stay on budget or if they’re finding it hard to stay on track. Again, be curious.

You can also talk about times when money was tight, or you found yourself with extra debt. How did you work to get back on track? Then you can see if your child(ren) are comfortable sharing any difficulties they may have had or be having now.

You can also have a general conversation about sound financial practices, like paying credit card balances off. Have you ever had a time when you weren’t able to do that? What’s your approach to using credit cards? Then ask your child(ren) how they manage their credit cards.

Another topic to bring up is financial planning. When in your life have you sought financial advice? Who did you talk to? How did the advice help you? Then you can ask your child(ren) if they have a financial advisor and what they’ve learned from working with them.

If you are an adult child:

Recognize your parent(s) may want to learn a bit about your financial situation so they can develop the best plan to transfer their wealth to you. You don’t have to disclose details if you don’t want to. But letting them know what your financial goals are and how you are doing can be helpful.

This can be one of the most difficult money talks to have with your adult children. Don’t wait for a crisis to get started. Your age and stage of life can guide how much you’ll share. Here’s how to start the conversation to make it less awkward – and to avoid worrying your adult child(ren).

If you are parents of adult children:

A few years before retirement, share your retirement plans and how you’re doing on meeting your financial goals. If you are worried about having enough income, you can let your child(ren) know what options you are looking at to help make your money last. If you have a financial advisor you can share what actions they have suggested you take.

A few years into retirement, plan another conversation about how things are going and how the next decade looks. Let your child(ren) know where you have gaps. For example, have you built up your savings and budgeted well – but you still have an expensive mortgage? Were you laid off a few years before retirement, so you have not saved as much as you planned?

As you get further into your senior years, you may need to have another conversation about where you are, how long your money will likely last and what kind of help you may need in the future. If you are worried about outliving your savings, are there ways to cut back your expenses? By opening up the conversation, you give your adult child(ren) the opportunity to offer help – both non-financial and financial.

If at any time you don’t think there will be enough money in your estate to repay debt or pay your final taxes after your death, it’s better to let your child(ren) know rather than have surprises later. There may be steps they can take to help ease the situation. After your death, your executors and family members should consult with a Licensed Insolvency Trustee (LIT). The LIT is legally authorized to wind up your affairs and deal with your creditors. This will remove the burden and financial risks that would otherwise fall to your executors.

If you are an adult child:

If your parent(s) need help, you will need to look at your own financial situation and see what you can do without putting your own goals in jeopardy. Once you know what’s possible, you can ask your parent(s) what kind of support would be most helpful. For example, do they need help budgeting? Downsizing? Or moving to a different area where living costs are lower? These are just some of the non-financial ways you can help. If financial help is needed, set limits based on what you can afford. You may need professional advice to balance your own financial needs with those of your parent(s).

Does your adult child have trouble with credit cards? Are they behind on their rent or mortgage? Spending beyond their means? You may be tempted to give them advice. However, unless they ask for it, save your breath.

However, if they ask you for financial help, you may have an opportunity to provide some tips on managing money.

Recognize this can be a very sensitive topic for your child(ren). Make it a conversation, not a lecture. Here’s how to get started.

If you are parents of adult children:

If you want your child to learn how to manage their money, start by helping them learn from their past money mistakes – so they can do better in the future.

Ask your child(ren) open questions that encourage them to find solutions. For example, if they ask you for help with car payments, you can ask: “Do you know how much your car is costing you every month? Have you looked into other options? How much could you save?” Or, if they ask you for a loan to cover their rent or mortgage, you can ask: “Do you know where your money goes every month? How much you’re spending on groceries? Entertainment? Your phone?” There are banking apps that can help them track their spending and warn them when they start to go over budget.

Ask your child(ren) if they’re open to help with budgeting. Sit down with them and go over every bill and debt they have. Compare their spending with the money they make. Then help them figure out exactly how much money they need to balance their budget.

Suggest ways your child(ren) could reduce their expenses. Is there a cheaper phone plan? Can they use public transit more and park the car? Can they cut back on entertainment by finding fun activities that don’t cost a lot?

You can also recommend they visit a not-for-profit credit counselling agency to get some advice.

Whether you decide to help your adult child(ren) financially is up to you. In some cases – if your child is ill, for example – it may be necessary. But most financial advisors suggest never put your own financial security on the line to help your adult child(ren). If you do, be sure to set clear expectations about what help you can offer and what you expect in return from your child(ren).

If you are an adult child:

If you ask your parent(s) for money, be sure to discuss a realistic plan to pay them back.

Also remember it opens the door for them to discuss your finances. You can look at it as an opportunity to have a productive conversation about how you’re going to turn things around. They have a lot of life experience to share if you’re open to listening.

If you need money for a basic necessity, like paying rent or buying food, be honest about why you're in this situation. Don’t just ask for financial help. Tell your parent(s) what you’re going to do differently in the future. Ask them for any advice they can offer to help you improve your situation.

There is no tax on cash gifts in Canada. However, if you are passing on other assets – for example, non-registered investments or real estate – taxes may apply, even if the child(ren) are under age 18. Here’s how to start a conversation about taxes on gifts to grandchildren or other children.

If you are parents of adult children:

• Consult a tax specialist or financial advisor to work out your plan. They can advise you on ways to defer or reduce taxes that may apply.

• Then set up a meeting with the child(ren)’s parents to share your plan. You may want to have your advisor lead the conversation and be available to answer any tax questions.

If you are an adult child:

• Ask questions and make sure you fully understand the tax implications of any gift to your child(ren). You may want to seek independent advice to explore all options to defer or reduce tax. Then share what you learn with your parent(s).

Ready to learn more? Read: Gifting to Grandchildren: What To Consider When Transferring Your Wealth.